The Question of the Week is “What excuses am I making?”. Just asking this question on a regular basis is huge. An honest approach to discovering where we can make improvements is crucial to our Martial Arts practice. As soon as we think we have mastered a technique, we stop learning and getting better. Rather we should stay curious and (without obsessing) consistently look for ways to develop better habits.
Excuses vs. Reasons
Now I won’t claim to be an expert on making excuses, at least when compared to the general population. I think we are all expert excuse makers. There’s something very human about wanting to feel good about the way we think or do things currently. Confirmation bias is real, and we have a natural tendency to avoid changing what has worked for us in the past. Growing, changing for the better is hard. Thus, we make excuses. When we come to terms with this, we can take on the first crucial step: recognizing when we make excuses.
When we begin looking for excuses, a common response is to make excuses for our excuses. We protest and say, “This isn’t an excuse, this is a reason.” There are of course valid reasons we do much of what we do. However, be careful to determine when your reasons are just excuses masquerading. One simple question I like to ask myself is, “Is there something else I’d rather be doing?”. If I’m not exercising because I’m injured, and I rest even though I’d rather exercise, that’s clearly a reason. Yet if I’m not exercising because I’d rather be watching TV, and in fact I’m watching TV right now, that’s an excuse.
Improving instead of Excusing
In Martial Arts, we are constantly given opportunities to improve. We often get clear signs that something isn’t quite right. This may come in the form of a technique not working, or sometimes physical pain from an incorrect movement.
In Tai Chi, we may be moving in a way that torques our knees. In Kung Fu, we may miss a target when we punch. In Jiu Jitsu maybe we can’t get the position of our partner’s body quite right for a submission. These are usually simple issues with fairly obvious solutions. But if we look one level down, the problems and solutions become more subtle.
Maybe we have been moving in a certain way for years and it usually works, but a senior student points out a slightly more efficient way of doing the technique. Depending on our attitude we will either immediately begin working to make the change, or we will be dismissive of the comment because we don’t want to do the work or we don’t like the thought that we may have been doing something wrong for years. It should be clear which is the better mindset.
The Ego Resisting Change
The guillotine choke is a simple technique in BJJ. For over a decade I struggled with one part of completing the choke from the guard position. I leaned back too early, smooshing my partner’s body onto mine. I often couldn’t connect my hands, so I either had to give up or use lots of muscle to make it work. One day in class Roger Machado pointed out a small detail of scooting my butt back so that I could keep my balance, connect the hands, then lean back. It was such a simple, elegant solution that I instantly began working on it. Within a couple of days it became a permanent part of my technique.
I wish I could say the same was true of all the techniques I’ve been shown improvements for. Countless times I’ve been shown little details that make things more effective, yet I found myself fighting against the change, standing up for the old way I used to do things. It always works itself out in the end though. No matter how much we may resist, the truth of what works better always wins out, as long as we are honest with ourselves.
Letting Go and Finding Ease
This resistance, these excuses, the space between what we do now and what we know we should be doing…this is so much energy and time wasted. If we can recognize instantly when we are making excuses and stop standing up for the way we used to do things, we will be more efficient and effective. Not only that, but our experience of life will be filled with ease rather than resistance.
I invite you to be curious and look for where you are making excuses, especially for old habits. Once you recognize an excuse for what it is, you will usually move forward naturally in the right direction.
