Some of you reading this may not have yet experienced the negative aspects of growing old. Early in life we can’t wait to grow up so that we have all the perceived freedoms in life. We see parents and older siblings driving, staying up late, eating whatever we want instead of what you are allowed. It’s not until we get older that we realize that eating whatever we want doesn’t work. We understand that getting to bed early and enjoying a full night’s sleep is a luxury. We discover that driving in traffic isn’t that fun.
Once we get to a certain age, we start feeling our years. As we age, we slow down physically, have consistent aches, and have trouble remembering where we put our keys. Yet it’s important to keep in mind that with time, we don’t just get worn out as we are growing old, we get worn in. Matt Eason gave a great meditation talk for his black sash test where he brought out an old work boot. He pointed out that after all the miles he has worn it the leather has started to crack, yet the boot has gotten more comfortable. We are the same. Instead of just feeling worn out, we should change our perspective and see how we are worn in. We can get more comfortable in our own skin, physically and mentally.
Wisdom with growing old
Wisdom is something that should come with age. As Muhammad Ali said, “The man who views the world at 50 the same as he did at 20 has wasted 30 years of his life.” Every day is an opportunity to learn, and we should take it. If we set out each morning with energy and the intention to become better, we are guaranteed to become happier and more effective.
Last year when my mother passed away after a years long battle with pancreatic cancer, my life was forever changed. I miss my mom, and seeing someone I always thought of as being invincible become weak and die connected me to a sense of my own mortality. Where I used to think of myself as being invincible too, I now consider how to make the most of what time I have left.
Living an Intentional Life
I’ve intentionally created a life where I don’t fear death, and this is something we can all do. I find that as long as I live well each day, doing what I love and being the best version of myself allows me to brush off the concern of death when it arises. This is because even though I’ve made my fair share of mistakes, I regret nothing. Since death comes to us all, there is no use worrying about it. Our life is well lived as long as we are doing our best.
Even though we can get past the fear of death, we still find ourselves considering growing old, the remainder of this journey and its eventual end. We might find ourselves wondering what there is left to accomplish. Perhaps wondering what experiences will help us live life to the fullest. There are countless things to do, but what is most important is how we approach them, the attitude that we take.
Immortality
My Sifu asks, “What use is immortality to someone who can’t even use one lifetime well?” When we are very young, everything is exciting because it’s new. Summer seems to last forever. As we get older, we tend to be less impressed with the novelty of our experiences. Things start to feel the same because we’ve already had similar experiences. Before I began practicing kung fu, tai chi, brazilian jiu jitsu and meditation, I felt like a zombie. I was going through the motions, each day seeming the same as the last. When I began to understand that life doesn’t have to be that way, when I began to be mindful, time started to stretch. After years of practice, life can be as new and exciting as when we were young. The goal is to grow wise while maintaining the energy of youth.
Growing old well
Growing old doesn’t have to mean a slow decline until death. We can become seasoned and worn in like a quality work boot and learn how to better appreciate each moment.
